When most people picture alcoholics, someone like me does not usually come to mind. After all, who would suspect the high powered executive in a skirt and blouse to be harboring a secret addiction. By day I carry out corporate deals that others would be envious over, but by night I drink myself into a stupor. I sacrificed romance and a social life on my way up the corporate ladder, turning instead to drinking a bottle of wine in front of the television every night.
Lunchtime business meetings always include a few drinks, and I pride myself on being able to keep up with men twice my size. My nighttime drinking has helped me to build up my tolerance to such great levels. I have broken through into a man’s world, and I am here to stay. Providing, that is, that the alcohol does not kill me first.
Looking around my gorgeous condo overlooking the intercoastal waterway I can truly say that I have arrived. But at what cost? It is lonely at the top when you have sacrificed so much and made decisions that have cost you happiness and love. I do want to find love and have a family before it gets too late. I know I have to do something about my drinking, but I worry about how it will affect my professional life when I meet with clients and order sparkling water instead of a drink. I also wonder what will happen when I make the decision to undergo treatment. Will my job be waiting for me when I return?
There are so many different demons going around in my head as I sit here finishing yet another bottle of wine. I wonder what the condition of my liver is from all this alcohol. I am unsure of how becoming sober will affect my personality and my career. Most of all, I have no idea what to do to begin the search for true love. I can only hope that I find the strength to make the necessary changes in my life.