There comes a time when you have to admit that you have hit rock bottom, and for me the time had come when I realized that I had lost my family. I have to admit that I never thought my wife would make good on her threats to leave me, but when I lost my job and pretended to go to work every day for a month, that was the last straw. I am surprised it took her that long to find out that I was unemployed, but eventually the truth always comes out.
Coming home at the end of my “work” day to an empty home was shocking. I proceeded to finish off the half bottle of gin that was in my desk drawer in the den. When I staggered into the bathroom I saw a strange person looking back at me in the mirror. I no longer recognized this person, and I certainly didn’t like what I saw. No wonder I had lost everything important to me – I had turned into a hideous nightmare.
I don’t remember much after that except waking up the following afternoon on the floor next to my bed. It felt as though I had sat there for hours thinking over my life. I decided then and there that it was time to get help. I needed to put myself into some type of treatment program and get straight again. Once upon a time I had a great life, and I wanted my life back again. I didn’t know if I could ever regain my wife’s trust, but I was determined to try.
I remember pouring out every bottle of booze in the house. I didn’t want any temptations in my way. Besides, when I came home from rehab and I wanted to be able to begin my life in a clean and sober way. When I finished pouring out all the bottles, I hauled them right out to the curb. I sat myself down at the computer and started researching rehabs. It was time to finally take some positive action in my life once again.
I don’t know if I will ever regain my wife’s trust, but getting treatment was the first step in the right direction. I know that each day and every step is up to me and what I make of it. I am worth doing this, and so is my life. I just take each day one at a time, and I know that I can turn everything around.